Disneyland
by Shylar
Summary: The Volturi go on a vacation. What chaos will ensue? Will Aro's enthusiasm be the death of them all?


**Set post Breaking Dawn!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight nor any of its characters. This story, however, is mine. It's my first attempt at humour so please let me know if you like it. I'm often told I have a bizarre sense of humour so I'm not sure…this is kind of a mixture between what I'm told is normal humour and my humour. **

Aro almost bounced up and down with excitement as he considered the possibilities. It was rare indeed for the Volturi to venture beyond the Italian border, but Aro had decided it was time to take a vacation. Of course, he was yet to tell Caius and Marcus and he didn't need Alice's visions to know that they wouldn't take the news overly well. That, however, was just a fact of life, or was it death? Aro briefly contemplated the question that had nagged at him for centuries before pushing it to the back of his mind and returning to planning the vacation. Naturally they would need to avoid the sunlight as much as possible but Aro really, _really,_ wanted to go to Disney Land. Maybe he could find out a good day to go. The idea struck him like a lightening bolt, but not the kind that sizzles vampires, just the metaphorical kind. Within a third of a second Aro had whipped his phone out and begun dialing.

"Yes, Aro?" sighed the psychic vampire. Apparently Alice wasn't very happy to hear from him.  
"Oh, Alice, don't play coy, you know _exactly_ why I'm calling." Aro was too excited to get angry as he waited impatiently for Alice to reply. He hated not being able to read thoughts without contact, particularly now that he knew of Alice's amazing ability.

"I do, Aro, but I also see Marcus and Caius being extremely difficult." Alice hedged. Aro frowned, knowing that Alice was just trying to get out of aiding him.

"What if I promise to get a present for Renesmee?" He would bring one back anyway, there was something about the girl that appealed to him, charmed him in a way very few had in his long existence. He didn't lust for her blood, nor desire her body, he simply loved Renesmee for who she was and longed to be the crazy uncle figure. Alice caved.

"Fine, but it better be good. Go to Disney Land on the 21st, it'll be overcast and it's a Monday so not many children will be there."

"Thank you, Alice!" Aro chimed, hanging up the phone and almost dancing as he made his way to the massive meeting chamber. As expected both his brothers of sorts were in the chamber, Caius was ordering the execution of yet another human secretary who had failed to work at vampire speed, and Marcus was staring at a spot on the wall that was indiscernible from any other to Aro.

"Aro." Marcus said in a flat tone without looking up.

"Brothers, I come with news. We are going on holiday. And no, it's not a choice; Jane will help me persuade you to come if you put up any arguments." Aro said without pausing, knowing he had to be quick to get ahead of the sharp tongued Caius. Caius closed his mouth, glaring at the overly excited Aro. Marcus still hadn't looked up from the spot on the wall.

"Where exactly do you intend for us to go to?" Caius asked in what was intended to be a scathing tone.

"We're gonna go to _Disneyland_!" Aro couldn't help but give a little jump.

"There are children at Disneyland." Observed Marcus dully. Aro thought it was lucky Marcus didn't have the ability to drill holes with his eyes or they would probably be lacking a wall right now.

"Oh, I suddenly like this idea better." Caius said, his bright red eyes shining with glee.

"You can't eat the children, Caius." Sighed Aro, wondering why he was the only one dying to see Mickey Mouse.

"Then explain why we're going because I don't understand."

"He's bored." Muttered Marcus.

"Like you're so much fun, Boredy McBored-Bored." Shot back Aro. "Anyway, no use arguing because we leave tomorrow."

"I have a joke." Marcus said irrelevantly.

"What, your face?" Asked Caius in his best immature teenager tone.

"I forget." Admitted Marcus. Aro shook his head and left the room.


End file.
